I am SO sorry I've been missing posts (See title)! I am really sorry - to both you and God.
I have a lot to talk about. The first - I was involved in the April 27 tornados in Alabama. Words can't really express the devastation really everywhere that this storm touched (as I'm sure you all have heard before), and I can say from firsthand experience that the repercussions are still being felt - hard. I thank God for sparing me and my family, and I am so, so sorry for anyone who has lost anything, and especially anyone, in these storms. For anyone who didn't personally experience this, or who haven't seen the devastation, the best way that I can explain its severity is to say that this is officially (as in, by the US government's say) a level 5 natural disaster - the same level as Katrina, the highest level possible.
I really don't have something to say for this in relation to God. The only thing I have than enabled me to come through this ordeal with my sanity in tact, though, was a firm belief that God doesn't let something happen unless there is a reason, a purpose, a good that comes out of it - and by that I in no way mean that the good is equal to the bad in a single instance, but that some measure of good - no matter how minuscule in connection the evil it comes from - does come from everything that happens. I don't believe that God would ever allow something to happen that had absolutely no good come of it happening.
Okay. That was depressing, and I'm truly sorry if I've offended or hurt anyone, or brought up something that you would have preferred left alone. I just felt I needed to share this.
I have no real transition to offer to this next bit of mews from my experiences, so here it goes without one: On May 21st, 2011, I was burned with radiator fluid at a car show. In the south, car shows are largely outdoors in parking lots, and cars can pull up at leave at different times throughout the show, so that a still-over-heated Corvette was there when I was. As I was walking past it, the radiator cap flew off, and a stream of radiator fluid hit my back, neck, and shoulders. At first, all I could do was scream, not only from the pain, but also from the sheer shock and confusion over what had happened. I had no idea what had happened, what had hit me, why I was hurting, why my father was so upset - and it scared me. Soon I was apologizing for it, for disrupting the show, for having been angry with my dad only moments before - for everything. Within seconds, though, the people at the show were racing toward me with water bottles, coolers of ice, and even a couple of jugs of water, which were poured onto my back rather slowly (as to avoid shock) to cool down and wash off the liquid, and to help ease the burning. I was also helped into a stranger's lawn chair under a canopy, to keep me from the sun, and comforted by complete strangers, telling me to try to slow down my breathing, telling me I had nothing to be sorry about, that I would be fine, that I was doing well. I still can't even think enough on how amazed and grateful I am for all of their help - I would later find out that it was the water and the sun-sheilding and the breathing advice that kept me from getting worse burns and from going into shock, respectively. Soon an ambulance arrived, and I found out that my sister, who was with me but hadn't been hurt, would have to stay behind alone if my father came with me - but I found out later that a nice woman from the show (another complete stranger) had stayed with her and helped her calm down (she was really scared about me) until my mother and other sister came to pick here up. While in the ambulance, I was no longer able to have the pain controlled by cold water, and the only thing that the EMTs could do was to poor warm saline on my back (which, yes, hurt, but still lessened the burning for a time). I managed to control my breathing by singing hymns in my head (which I have thanked my Music Minister for since) and was able to ask the EMT in the back with me about what might happen. I also found out that he was a Christian, and he prayed with me, for which I am so grateful. (sorry, I'm beginning to tear up a bit now - this is the first time since the accident that I've tried to fully recount the experience)
It took 20 minutes to get to the hospital (the only one in the city with a burn clinic was also one of the furthest away), and it had taken about 10-15 minutes for the ambulance to arrive at the show, so there was a considerable period in which I was burned and without painkillers (the only thing that can really be done for a fresh burn). The only thing I can really say about this time is that I hope none of you ever have to experience anything like it.
I was in the hospital for about 4 days. During that time, I was helped and encouraged by more people than I can remember or ever thank. But the best thing that happened while I was there is that I prayed with God about the entire thing, and realized through it that I was the best person to have been burned, being that I am of an age where I was more likely than not to bounce by quickly and successfully (which I am glad to report that I have), in that anyone much younger than me has an increased chance of further complications due to burns (namely, infections), as do people over the age of about 50. Furthermore, I was burned at the best place to be burned - the back. Had I been walking any slower, the stream of radiator fluid would've hit my face and chest - versus my being hit on my back and shoulders which is not only easier to clean as a wound, but is also significantly less painful and significantly less likely to become infected, or to lead to a serious infection. I was so lucky - yes LUCKY, in everything about my burn, and upon realizing this, I was so grateful that the stream had hit me and not anyone else at the show - the little children running around everywhere, the 50+ who were roaming the aisles to look, and especially any other member of my family - that would have killed me to see them hurt. By God revealing all this to me, He gave me the strength to come through this - and even quickly, much to the surprise of many of my nurses and doctors.
Even more importantly - I had asked God before this for a moment in which I had to rely on HIm, because I have been struggling once again with remaining faithful, and especially in really living for God, Honestly, even now i have trouble with this - instead spending all of my time on mindless things without purpose which, though entertaining, are devoid of meaning, and devoid of God - facebook gaming, tv, waiting all night for Pottermore (which, I am both proud and ashamed to say that I'm in now!). I knew though, that this was my test - my chance to rely in Him, and I am so grateful that He let me have this chance, no matter what. I love God, and now I have another story to tell, a secret to share, a moment in my life that I can point to and say that without a doubt God was with me. I am so grateful, and though I continue to struggle, I continue to march, and to care so much about what I can do for Him, even if I (unfortunately, but truthfully) ultimately don't. I still care that I don't, and I still *want* to do more, and I hope and pray that God continues to give me chances.
